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Fear Itself
I have two major phobias that I’ve had as long as I can remember: A rational one (as phobias go, at least) and an irrational one. I have a fair number of minor ones, too, but I’m going to keep those to...
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A Crash Course in Healthcare
I’ve written before about the series of events that ended in me falling ill, but one thing I haven’t told you about is the transition after that – the transition from being a healthy person to being a...
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Losing My Edge
(Lyrics here.) One day about three years into my illness, when I was still well enough to be working but sick enough to be doing so from home, I met my departing boss – let’s call him Brad – for a...
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One Foot in Front of The Other
I was once a runner. I wasn’t always. I took it up after I left NYU in 1995. I’d been teaching myself to cook at college, and turning out to be unfortunately, deliciously good at it, so the second half...
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My Secret Identity
An old friend who is a serious comic book collector flattered me recently by likening me to the character Oracle. For those of you, like me, who aren’t intimately familiar with the DC universe, Oracle...
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Gratitude
We’ve been together fifteen years total, and this was eleven years ago this month. One of the more difficult things to deal with about being this ill is the feeling of uselessness imposed by my...
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And So This is Christmas
Warning: This video contains a lot of disturbing imagery. I know I’m late with this post. Would you believe that trying to have Christmas with the tiny store of energy ME/CFS allows me caused me to...
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New Bottle Paranoia Syndrome
One of the things that consistently makes life more exciting around here is my case of New Bottle Paranoia Syndrome. My present state of NBPS has reached its current form because of a long series of...
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Losing My Voice
A conversation at our house recently: “So when you think of things that the illness has cost me, things that were a big part of my identity, things that I loved to do, what’s the first thing that comes...
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Prandial Problems
Pretty close, although not the exact one. I hated my mother’s bunny jello mold. She bought it before my brother or I were born, thinking that when she had kids, it would be fun to make them...
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Hindsight
Image by Redcloud80 Living with a disease of unknown etiology is, let’s say, problematic. The lack of a well-defined cause stymies efforts toward a cure, and opens up a gaping void that gets filled, at...
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The Body and My Body
If asked to guess what holiday is hardest for me, I don’t think Independence Day would top most people’s lists – but it is. Maybe when I say that, though, it comes into focus – really, you couldn’t...
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